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Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Last blogged @ 16:59  Selamat hari raya aidiladha semua. (: And just,for a little while,let me share abit, to those who even bother to read this whole chunk of shit. Talked to sis yesterday night,and I actually cried heavily.Because we actually spend the whole night reflecting how my family from the father's side treated us,as a whole family. Really,I'm very disappointed with the way they treat us.I feel like I don't belong in there. Do you realise that every outing,every trip,every where,we are never in? Except for the batam trip,but that?? heh... that wasn't even an enjoyable trip. Know why? Cause in the end, they end up fighting,and blaming my dad? When I believe that my dad is not in the wrong.Everyone is just being biased,just because they are not close to my dad since young,coz they were seperated. I'm there,I see how he cried,I saw everything on that day. And when you need financial help,you will find my dad.When we are always the one contributing. Tell me, in who's engagement ceremony did we didn't contribute? But when it's my sis turn now, no one of you even care to offer help,or even contribute.Memang ikhlas,memang kite ikhlas,but at least,contribute at least a little,to show that you appreciate whatever we've done for you.But it's only when about contributing did you find my parents? And then,when you have chalet,or fun filled moments,do you even bother to invite us along? NO! And do you ever feel that my dad is respected as an elder brother? Are we puppets for show that we do not have feelings being mocked around? When we are always being gossiped around,whatever we wear,whatever we do,everyone will look at us,disgustedly. If I could list out all the things I'm disappointed about,I'm sure that would fit a file with hundred pockets. I dont know why people like us,who will always be treated that way.Is it in our genes-the ones who should be hated? Or are we too low in standard,that we don't fit to be with them? But know what,it's too late to adjust. Everything will be different now,because it's just too late. Nothing will change,because the love and the care will never build up. And from the day I'm being teased cause I'm fat when I'm young? And when I am not as smart as you,I got teased? And then,when I wear tudung,you insult me,you said I looked sucky? And when I have never ever gone through a blissful and enjoyable childhood time? When in my birthday,my ex left me with a break up birthday card? And my very bestfriend left me,when she found new friends who write about me in her blog? And when I'm in sec one,you know who you are that left me out? And when it's just the right time to be loved by my grandmother,she passed away? And then,when my dad was retrenched, no one even offered my family help? When my sis cannot pursue further studies because she have to help out? When I'm always being beaten up,being treated so badly? And there's much more,to my life,which no one in this wide earth knows. No one,except god.Because he have been there all this while,the one I'll end up talking to,when no one else is there for me...and when things get too complicated... To whoever that argued with me earlier on,about perfection,telling me that I have a perfect life,tell me now, DO I?! I apologise if this post offend anyone. And at this moment,I'm crying so heavily. I know,who cares? Righht..I know I have to stop. bye. |
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