Heys.

Went out with sis hawa and fiq yesterday.

Had a great time.

Really, I owe a lot of thanks to both of them. Haha tak habes2..

And to kak we, hope you'll really enjoooooy your 19th birthday which is coming soon.

Stay sweet and happy k. :)
Oh, btw I really enjoyed the part we are in supreme court for the design blahblah festival.

I reaaaaaallllllly have been wanting to go in there, and didnt get a chance to since it's always closed.

Tiba tiba semalam bukak! wah I'm so happy that I finally get to enter that prestigious place.

HEEehhhh.

Don't mind me, I'm always excited for some merepek(nonsensical) reason. haha. :)

Apparently, something rare happened to me yesterday.

Ain't gonna describe further.

It's a disappointment, nothing ironical or exciting. heh.

I don't even know why the heck I'm feeling this way.

Down down down down down.

Maybe I must learn to let go.

And believe that whatever I heard is not an apparition or dream.

It's reality and I know, I have to face it.

Maybe that girl who had put in loads and loads of efforts, shall deserve it, yeaah. :)

I'm chill with it.. haha..

I've never expect anything so far, it's tough to conclude why exactly I'm feeling this way.

Legs trembling, nerves gone crazily haywired, brain disfunctioned temporarily, tears waiting for the time to run out.

I felt that way throughout the day,I felt super disappointed and sad when I heard about it but I just keep it to myself. It's better that way. I hate to show how bad I felt. I hate to cry in front of people. It's very rare. So long I could control, I will.

Control control control.

Speech utterly distorted, don't know what am I saying most of the time. hah.

In my heart, I uttered prayers again and again.

I told myself to chill, chill and chill.

But one weird thing about me, I don't know how many things I've bottled up so far.

I've never ever confessed how I felt to anybody unless that person triggered. NEVER.

Cause that's not me. I take my feelings lightly and always think negatively of myself and the outcomes before I put my thoughts or feelings into words.

I'm not as brave as certain society. I'm not.

I controlled my tears until yesterday night after isyak, when it all burst out like water pipe when I was letting it all out to Allah s.w.t.

I know He knows me the best, I believe He listened.

For now,let me put it this way, I'm happy to see him happy with what he has, or who he likes.

I don't mind keeping my feelings to myself, since that is what I've been doing so far. I am much comfortable with this.

Love is all about heart, not force.

Nah nah nah, don't want to make it sound so cheesy. :)

Hahaha..

*hug myself*

cheer up! cheer up syafiqah!!!!! :D